expressing .

salam..hai..hello..wassup??

heee..hmm..i'm bored now, so i decided to write a new post. tetibe teringat ade blog ni.

expressing gonna be today's title. since i was a kid, i have problem with expressing my feelings. feelings? what? love? no its not about love. it's feelings. random feelings. when you hurt or happy or anything. i realize i did suppressed everything inside me, to myself, hmmm..no no not everything, you could say almost everything. i didn't know how to share my story. i guess i have problem in trusting people or maybe i'm afraid hearing people's opinion about me? or if im being judged? i'm not sure. but i guess it's not about trust. but, it din lasted long, at a certain age i managed to release , expressing my emotion bit by bit to my surroundings. i felt weird with myself. why i couldn't express my own feelings like others did?? im wondering and i still do now. 

sadly,in 1st semester in university, i trusted a wrong person and somehow it affecting my new life. i can called it new life right? new age, new surrounding whatsoever. my old stiff stone personality tried to iced my heart again . luckily, i started seeing things differently thanks to surroundings. i saw many people, i see changes in people, i see so much fun in life, i heard stories. like many many stories. and i decided that im gonna be much stronger. i tried to be much better observer, of myself . 

this upgrading version mission works. i gained friends from all around states, even foreigner. i'm happy to be the new ME oppps, i could say the upgraded version of ME instead of the word new since i didn't change completely to be a diferent person. BUT, i do have problem in hugging people(perempuan la kan, takkan laki2 kot?so pahamkan sendiri). if i did hugged you, u must means a lot to me or u could say i trusted you or i just feel comfortable with you being around me. don't make any weird conclusion okay?? 

i still have some unchanged personality that i had since before which i loves making friends. i can communicate with my friends better now even the old one. here, i had to say my apologies towards my friends if i did hurt any of you guys feelings, i hope u could understand, or could try to understand my actions towards you you and you or u didn't have to at all bout what im sayin in here. why bother rightttt? nahhh. pffft. HAHA. see ya. i miss you guys. ^_^

aku fed-up

salam..

today's entry berperasaan sikit..aku annoyed with somebody. 

aku tak paham mcm mne ade org bole pikir yg dunia ni hari-hari berlaku pasal dia seorang saje..org lain ade hidup jugakk..bukan dia sorg je..jgn kusutkan mslh org lain dlm diri sndri lepas tu perasan yg org lain being "judgemental" towards them. hoi tolonglah. manusia ni hari hari ade problem.saja nak share mne tahu dpt pendapat..janganlah buat kitorang mcm ni. kau ada mslh ngan orang A, jangan libatkan orang B,C,D,E..etc. things somehow doesn't relates with each other at all !! orang ni buat aku jadi daripada tak terpikir jadi serba salah tao. dia selalu buat org jadi mcm ni. aku tak pasti dia sengaja atau tak perasan. but this happened!! aku tak suke..*sape tak paham jgn tanya..mmg aku merepek*

here aku cume nak paste ape yg aku tuit tuit tadi supaya aku tak lupa yg arini aku marah....

-susah betol jumpe org suka putar belit cakap org lain. lain yg org maksud lain yg dia definisikan.

-nak biar boleh. tak biar pon boleh. as for now i just wanna see

- the fact people commenting using their own judgement.this world doesn't concerns only YOU !more than 20billion human population lives here.

-i did live through that stage..but life not done yet. it can happen again if me deserve that test for this life.

-my way..u can never understand it because u see me through ur "judgemental and prejudice" glasses.. i din hate u. i pity u. im sorry.

-we live in a way. not in YOU ruling our way.

-people like us being abused socially by people like you who can't accept that WE can do better than u did .

-i seriously mad . i didn't hate u. i hate this mentality of yours. hope u could see my point. not my "putar belit by others" point.

-we live with others past.we learned, we changed, we adapt then we believe that we can be better than them which happen to did those mistakes. we tried and we moved.

-i hate this irritating feelings. i don't like me having this feelings. plus tonite was a good day in islamic history.

-u ruin everything. everytime. we didn't. u did. u did. u did ! yesss... it's from you !

-luckily i didn't curse people. alhamdulillah. at least i can still keep my temper.

-when i'm mad. i will membebel in english. i didn't know where was it came from. it just happens. sorri for any errors. din realize. sorri..

the most obvious . u can never see people did better than you because u thought urself was the best in everything !!!!

-aku komen tanak jawab.aku cakap kang trus nti sentap. seb baik kau takda twitter aku. klau tak perang dunia agaknyaaa? cari gaduh plak.

-aku susah nak gadoh dengan orang .sebab aku tak suka konflik. tapi ade plak manusia suka timbulkan masalah dalam ketenangan manusia yg lain!

-aaaaaaaaaaaaaa ! gerammnyeee akuuuu !!!!! tak suke tak suke tak suke.

-u creating the non-exist world saying we hates+not fair to u.

-what WE see is,u saw urself from ur past and u're judging urself then blame it to US that never thinks of something like this towards u.

-we have our own life.we didn't live talking, thinking,judging YOU.SAY NO MORE bout this.

-we knew too much but we kept in silence to keep ur pride til now.don't let anyting came out of nowhere. PLEASE. im begging you.

- FINAL . i wish u could read this. but i'm not strong enough to see the implication. if u do read this please judge in bigger perspective. tq