expressing .

salam..hai..hello..wassup??

heee..hmm..i'm bored now, so i decided to write a new post. tetibe teringat ade blog ni.

expressing gonna be today's title. since i was a kid, i have problem with expressing my feelings. feelings? what? love? no its not about love. it's feelings. random feelings. when you hurt or happy or anything. i realize i did suppressed everything inside me, to myself, hmmm..no no not everything, you could say almost everything. i didn't know how to share my story. i guess i have problem in trusting people or maybe i'm afraid hearing people's opinion about me? or if im being judged? i'm not sure. but i guess it's not about trust. but, it din lasted long, at a certain age i managed to release , expressing my emotion bit by bit to my surroundings. i felt weird with myself. why i couldn't express my own feelings like others did?? im wondering and i still do now. 

sadly,in 1st semester in university, i trusted a wrong person and somehow it affecting my new life. i can called it new life right? new age, new surrounding whatsoever. my old stiff stone personality tried to iced my heart again . luckily, i started seeing things differently thanks to surroundings. i saw many people, i see changes in people, i see so much fun in life, i heard stories. like many many stories. and i decided that im gonna be much stronger. i tried to be much better observer, of myself . 

this upgrading version mission works. i gained friends from all around states, even foreigner. i'm happy to be the new ME oppps, i could say the upgraded version of ME instead of the word new since i didn't change completely to be a diferent person. BUT, i do have problem in hugging people(perempuan la kan, takkan laki2 kot?so pahamkan sendiri). if i did hugged you, u must means a lot to me or u could say i trusted you or i just feel comfortable with you being around me. don't make any weird conclusion okay?? 

i still have some unchanged personality that i had since before which i loves making friends. i can communicate with my friends better now even the old one. here, i had to say my apologies towards my friends if i did hurt any of you guys feelings, i hope u could understand, or could try to understand my actions towards you you and you or u didn't have to at all bout what im sayin in here. why bother rightttt? nahhh. pffft. HAHA. see ya. i miss you guys. ^_^